FEELING FRUSTRATED AND FORGOTTEN

February 11, 2016

TODAY IS THREE WEEKS SINCE WE LEFT THE STATES. ALTHOUGH IT IS REALLY NOT MUCH TIME IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, IT REALLY FEELS LIKE A LIFETIME HAS GONE BY. I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH ALREADY; THAT LIFE HAS LEFT ME BEHIND.

 

TRYING TO EMBRACE THIS NEW LIFE AND ALL OF ITS OBSTACLES AND CHALLENGES IS REALLY HARD, ESPECIALLY WHEN I LONG TO BE A PART OF THE LIFE I LEFT BEHIND. I WANT TO PICK MY GRANDSON UP FROM SCHOOL AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON WITH HIM. I WANT TO SPEND THE DAY WITH MY OTHER GRANDSON AND HAVE LUNCH WITH GRANDPAPA. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO COOK A MEAL AND HAVE MY WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER WITH LOVE AND LAUGHTER. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GO AND HELP SET UP AT JUDAH CHURCH AND TAKE PART IN THE 21-DAY PRAYER AND FASTING MEETINGS AND KOINONIA. I WANT THE TALKS I HAD WITH A DEAR FRIEND WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT MINUTES TICKING AWAY.

 

I DON’T WANT TO BE FORGOTTEN BY THE ONES I HAD TO LEAVE BEHIND. I DON’T WANT MY GRANDKIDS TO FORGET MY FACE, VOICE, AND HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. I DON’T WANT TO BE FORGOTTEN WHEN MY FAMILY GETS TOGETHER. THIS IS MY TRUE FEAR.

 

THIS SOUNDS SO SELFISH I KNOW, BUT IT IS MY REALITY.

 

MAKE NO MISTAKE, I DID NOT EXPECT LIFE TO STAND STILL AND WAIT FOR THIS SEASON IN MY LIFE TO COMPLETE. YES, I WANT THOSE I CHERISH TO HAVE FULL, COMPLETE, ABUNDANT LIVES. I WANT TO KNOW THEY ARE BEING USED BY GOD AND WALKING OUT THEIR OWN PATH.

 

YOU WOULD THINK TECHNOLOGY WOULD MAKE IT EASIER TO KEEP IN TOUCH, BUT THE REALITY IS TIME TICKS AWAY AT A PACE THAT EVEN TECHNOLOGY CAN’T KEEP UP WITH SOMETIMES.

 

SO, YES, I WILL DO MY BEST TO STAY A PART OF THE LIFE I LEFT BEHIND WHILE I STRIVE TO FULFILL THIS LIFE I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO FOR THIS SEASON. I JUST TRUST IT’S ENOUGH TO NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

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4 thoughts on “FEELING FRUSTRATED AND FORGOTTEN

  1. You are NOT forgotten!!!! I think of you VERY often…. I love you and respect you for following God’s will for your life… I wish I knew how to trust him with everything just as you have… As you already know, life is not easy, but with His hand guiding you, you will persevere…

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  2. We miss you guys dearly and you are absolutely not forgotten! You guys have trusted in the Lord in a way that many people can’t even begin to imagine. But remember that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without God knowing (Luke 2:6-7). We have not forgotten you, Judah has not forgotten you, and God has not forgotten you. Keep your chin up and keep in touch. We love you.

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